Officially unemployed

[Glides]

Yeah it's actually over now. Have spent the past few days hurriedly sending out applications literally everywhere, so far not one response.

I have no idea what to do now. I'm stuck. I'm slowly regressing into the person I was and I don't like him.

[Datelessman]

Yeah it's actually over now. Have spent the past few days hurriedly sending out applications literally everywhere, so far not one response.

I have no idea what to do now. I'm stuck. I'm slowly regressing into the person I was and I don't like him.

I've been where you were and I agree, it can be easy to become depressed and regressive when your economic situation takes a major it. I was unemployed from 2009 to about mid 2011, and my unemployment ran out on Christmas week, 2010. The period after was very grim; I thought of suicide many times. So first off, I want you to know that you're not alone and feeling negative things right now is normal.

Unfortunately, finding a job is never easy and I doubt it's any easier. You're sending out applications, that's good. If you worked on the books (i.e. W2, paid taxes) for at least 20 weeks, you should be able to collect unemployment insurance. Even if you were an independent contractor, some areas may still accept it if you were still an employee. It may take 1-2 weeks to kick in even if you're accepted, and at best its a stopgap. But if it is an option, take it. After a month you should be able to apply for other social services like food stamps; some states and cities vary so research these options. I understand not finding joy in this; I once had to have a friend almost beg me to apply for unemployment after a month. Applying for these services is also tedious and deliberately made to be frustrating, even in blue states. Just remember that your taxes pay into these for people who need them.

As for sending applications online, I don't have many suggestions. Few places even allow physical off-the-street applications anymore, despite what baby boomers insist. My only suggestion is be willing to be flexible regarding the types of jobs you want. Ideally you apply for ones in similar fields or industries as your current one, or one which caters to any degrees, licenses, or certifications you have. But be willing to expand your horizons just so you can apply to more places. It's a numbers game.

More importantly, you need word of mouth. While you may be feeling dark thoughts and even shame, in the post-Recession economy this is the new normal. Few people work at fewer than 5 places in their careers anymore. Therefore, while it may feel embarrassing to admit to losing your job to friends or family, you absolutely need them. Warm leads are better than cold ones. You never know which pal or cousin or etc. knows someone who knows someone about a gig. It's an option which is utterly crucial.

Above all, as grueling and grinding as it may be, you should do your best to remind yourself of your good qualities, traits, and accomplishments. Even a job you loved is an aspect of you, not your whole identity. When and if you can, allow yourself downtime to relax. Pursue hobbies as best you can. Hang with friends on weekends beyond networking, allow them to try to soothe you. I know personally that none of this is easy, but it's what I learned from my period of unemployment and I hope it helps.

[Werel]

Uggggh. I'm sorry, dude.

This may be pretty useless advice for your career path (can you... be a volunteer filmmaker? Surely there are some kind of community film initiatives or do-gooder wings of production companies?), but I can't tell you how often volunteering has led directly to employment for me/people in my social networks. I got my last job when I applied for, and didn't get, a position at an organization; since I had nothing better to do anyway, I asked to volunteer with them, and was subsequently hired within two months. Tons of similar stories from people I know: if you're willing to put in some time working for free, showing off your skills to the people directly in charge of hiring, your odds of being offered a Real Job there shoot through the roof.

Also, if a scattergun approach to applying to jobs is leaving you feeling discouraged and exhausted, maybe consider trying narrowing down your focus for a bit? Pick out three or four jobs each week which seem like a really good fit for you, and take the time to give full attention to crafting a really tailored application for each of them. Even if that doesn't immediately result in interviews, it'll help you sharpen your cover letter/application skills, and maybe stave off job-hunting burnout a while longer.

Good luck. Sending you good vibes, obvs.

[Glides]

November update: not much has changed. I've been doing freelance but it's not enough. That's essentially all I do these days. Ended my relationship because I began to recognize that I was drowning and I didn't want to drag her down with me. I've stopped exercising, sleeping, eating well. Doesn't seem to be any point. I'm still feeling all the old thoughts and feelings dragging me down. There doesn't seem to be any way out. For a while I thought things had been going well. I thought things were finally changing.

All I do now when I'm not working is fantasizing about drinking and going back through my life wondering what I could've done differently. I'm 22 years old and I feel like I'm 90. I feel like my life has already passed me by. I can already see myself aging.

I don't know what to do.

[Enail]

Your life hasn't passed you by, you're just dealing with unemployment and depression and both those things absolutely suck. How things are right now is not how things will be forever. It's normal to have ups and downs, the fact that you felt things were going well for a while means you're having more/better ups than you were before. Feeling worse now doesn't mean that things haven't been changing.

Are you still seeing your therapist? And if so are you being honest with them?

[OneTrueGuest]

What everyone else has said.

Also this is seriously not meant to diminish what you are going through at all because it truly royally sucks, but there is actually something called a quarter life crisis. Also as a filmmaker you must be rather familiar with THE GRADUATE. Both of these deal with the exact thing you are going through. Just out of school, unemployed, exhausted, not sure what the fuck you're doing, feeling ancient and like it's all pointless. It is very common for people your age to be feeling exactly as you are. Which doesn't make it feel any better but maybe in a small way can give you comfort you are SO not alone. Also that if you are still seeing your therapist this is something you should in no way feel ashamed of disclosing.

Feel the fear, exhaustion, sadness, pain. Don't deny it. But also know, you aren't alone. And you can work through this and come out the other side. And meanwhile fight as hard as you can not to slip back to any old bad habits, but also forgive yourself if you do. Life is up and down and it's a bitch (I'm going through a particularly bitchy part of life myself at the moment). But you can and will get through this. Try to be kind to yourself. Which I know is especially hard for you to do. But at the very least, try.

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