I might have BPD

[Glides]

Possibly. I haven't been diagnosed and I'm gonna talk to my therapist today about it. A friend of mine sent me the symptoms and I said out loud "that's me." Every single goddamn one is something I do so often. Lots of things would click into place if this is what it is. Me alternating between intense infatuation and intense hatred, the mood swings, the anger, all of it would make sense and I haven't been treating it, I've destroyed both of my major relationships that way. The fear of abandonment especially, that hits so close to home that it isn't even funny.

I dunno what to do now. I'm terrified thgis is actually what's wrong with me.

[Enail]

It sounds like you're already doing what you need to do, talking to your therapist about it. I know the possibility of a big diagnosis is a scary thing, but the things you describe that are causing you so much difficulty would be the same whether or not you put that label on them, right? So if you do have BPD, all that will mean is that you have a better idea of how to be treating what you're dealing with regardless.

Good luck with talking to your therapist, I hope it's helpful either way.

[jcorozza]

A lot of BPD is about struggling to regulate emotions, and Dialectical Behavior Therapy is designed for that - there a lot of grounding in the present and mindfulness involved, as well as working on how you relate to others. It can also help to do some group therapy, because you get a better feel for how others react to your emotions. Ask your therapist for recommendations if she thinks the symptoms fit!

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